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Pleased Thursday, everyone. So am I the one man who’s been in an amazing temper because the midterms? I would wish to thank Dr. Siegel for that. But in addition I am a silver linings man. Significantly, proper now I am sporting a thong product of pure silver. It was a Christmas reward from William Devane. Now, you realize it is in my secure.
Nevertheless it seems the Republicans will seize the Home. And like I stated final night time – thanks. I had nothing to do with it, however I am going to take it. However like I stated, you retain the Home, you retain the peace. So we must always begin occupied with all of the cool **** we may do now that we obtained the place to ourselves. I first name within the exterminators to kill something the earlier tenants left behind. I particularly wish to fumigate Jerry Nadler’s pants. I do know. What’s in there? So many issues. Oh, if his lining may speak.
However then let’s resolve Hunter’s laptop computer. Or possibly not the underside, as a result of who is aware of the place that is been. Hunter’s is the primary laptop computer that had a virus that truly wanted penicillin to kill. And whoever goes by way of that tough drive will want further gloves, double masks and holy water. We already know that the feds consider there was sufficient proof to cost him with tax crimes and with mendacity about drug use when he purchased a handgun in 2018. They’re fairly certain he was on medicine when he did that as a result of he stuffed out the gun software with a blue crayon and in pig Latin.
However with that GOP Home majority, it is time to excavate the buried laptop computer story in all its glory. And irrespective of how a lot the media tries to disregard it like they did the primary time round, we will now drive their hand to go the place they do not wish to go. Similar to Hunter did with the whores. And the teleprompter stated, “hookers.” The teleprompter stated “hookers.” I am in a extremely unhealthy temper.
GREG GUTFELD: DEMOCRACY LIVES TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY
Nevertheless it’s not about Hunter, however the large man, outdated Joe. And if he wasn’t conscious of his son’s dealings, that is fantastic. In any case, generally he isn’t conscious he is within the girls room and peeing within the sink. However who’re we kidding? Joe knew what was happening. Proper, Joe?
ACTOR: No, no, no, no. You may’t look again. You may’t look again. A sensible man as soon as stated, “Do not look again. You won’t like what you see.” You understand who stated that. That was Mark Twain or possibly Corn Pop, a type of guys. However no, I am unable to look again. I do not even know what I used to be doing in 2019. I am unable to bear in mind what I had for breakfast. However I let you know what I did not have for breakfast: mularkey.
I additionally want to get to know the 51 Intel brokers who signed that letter saying Hunter’s laptop computer was Russian disinfo, a declare so laughable it makes Putin shake with laughter and never simply Parkinson’s. I need Republicans asking the questions. No grandstanding, no overproduced **** like January 6. The one factor lacking from that listening to was Will Smith smacking somebody within the face.
However I wish to understand how authorities intel businesses may so fortunately lend themselves to a lie. And I wish to see the emails between the tech platforms, the media and the federal government businesses. I wager it is extra incestuous than the royal household. What? You may look it up. I imply, I did not, however I am certain it is there. You possibly can simply look.
Second, a GOP Home ought to imply cleansing home, eliminating the incompetent hacks who deal with others like crap. I am undecided there’s sufficient Lysol on the planet to perform that, however Ted Cruz already stated it is time to impeach Mayorkas. You bear in mind him? He is the DHS secretary who hung his personal brokers out to dry over Whip Gate. You understand, how do you say “what a bitch” in Spanish? That is after I want Geraldo was right here.
That well-known image that supposedly confirmed border brokers whipping migrants. Mayorkas knew it was BS, however he went on TV anyway and stated they had been. And the President adopted go well with saying these guys would pay. It sends an amazing message to our border brokers: certain, it is a harmful, thankless job, however a minimum of we’ll screw you over too. In loads of different industries. Mayorkas would have been canned. And certain, he’d by no means get convicted by the Senate, however so what? It might ship a message that People aren’t going to let that stuff slide.
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And eventually, the large one. Perhaps we will lastly push for the reality in regards to the origins of COVID-19. Did it come from the Wuhan lab or a unclean butter knife on the Aurora IHOP? Or was it the bong water from Kat’s workplace? Both manner, we will have to seek out out. It looks like one thing Biden desires us to overlook about. You understand, like he does together with his pants when he is heading all the way down to the Oval Workplace. However as the nice Invoice Shakespeare as soon as stated, “Up your ass, spit its breath.” It sounded higher within the King’s English, however you get the that means.
In keeping with a ballot I made up in my head simply now, most People are in settlement that somebody or one thing needs to be held accountable. I do not know. Perhaps somebody whose final title rhymes with grouchy? Or some nation whose title rhymes with angina? I am simply spitballing right here, however thousands and thousands died, specialists lied and nobody’s getting fried. Hell, we bombed international locations for much less. But right here we’re arising on three years later. And identical to truffle fries, we nonetheless do not know the place COVID got here from.
However we’re seeing the long-term penalties all throughout the nation, thanks additionally partly to Democrat-led lockdowns. In case you do not consider me, go ask a fifth grader if he is aware of how you can do lengthy division. He will not, which is why I fired him as my accountant. Effectively, that and he obtained scorching chocolate on my W-9. Backside line, the GOP ought to view Tuesday as an opportunity to deliver accountability and sanity again to authorities. Additionally, it will simply be enjoyable as hell to look at. And albeit, we have earned it.